Loading
I don’t get the opportunity to post as much as I’d like to. When I do post it’s almost always informative vs. reflective. This posting is different. I need to share my reflections with the hope that it will be informative or at the very least have an impactful meaning.
As I review my conversations and interactions with clients this past month, I am feeling hopeful and discouraged, shocked and amazed and admittedly a little bewildered. To put those feelings in context let me give you a few details.
As most of you know I use my voice to speak loudly around the subject of Respect. I believe that Respect is a universal language and it creates a platform for us to create points of connection, thus giving us the ability to leverage diversity.
In my work, I’ve discovered that there are issues and challenges in the workplace that are specific to the LGBT community. It could be as simple as aligning policy and practice or as crucial as bias and prejudice lived out. At any rate, I’ve chosen to use my voice.
In reflection, I think about the feelings and emotions I’ve experienced with this decision. I have had interactions with friends, acquaintances and colleagues that have been supportive while some have been critical. I have been warned that if I take this platform I could suffer personal and professional consequences for aligning myself with such a controversial group or cause. I have been misunderstood. Many have questioned my integrity, doubted my motives and judged me unfairly and inaccurately. I ask myself, “is this how it feels like to be a part of the LGBT community daily?”
When I used my voice for Race and Social Justice Initiatives, I didn’t hear many critics. When I spoke about Generational Diversity, there was no warning to take heed or not align. When I took that lead and defined diversity as “any difference whatsoever” I was applauded for thinking outside of the box. I was hailed as someone who finally gets it.
So as I reflect, I am planning and strategizing my next steps. I am more encouraged than ever. Energized and excited! Although I am a bi-racial, married, professional female who is a mother of 4 beautiful children, it does not limit me to advocate only for bi-racial, married, professional females who are mothers. I am energized and excited because I have made the decision to advocate for what is right and not be focused or distracted by who is right.
Respect is the right thing to do. Respect for ALL people because fundamentally, EVERYONE deserves Respect. You will hear my voice and it will be loud. As long as there is racism, bias, inequality or marginalized groups, communities or individuals, I will speak. I want to acknowledge every person who encouraged me to move forward with this vision of Respect. More importantly I want to thank every critic who shared negative thoughts, for it is you who has truly energized me.
Bravo…great post. I would love to have been the proverbial “fly on the wall” when you were engaging with some of the critics you mention. I sense that conflict has led to a both a deepening and increase in breadth of your perspective. Almost like breaking through a cocoon that you didn’t know was there possibly. You’ll have to write more often…I like it!
Of course, respect for every person as an individual is absolutely necessary. But when you talk about the “LGBT community,” what does that mean? The collective term implies a group of people who have decided to make a public statement regarding their sexuality. They want recognition and acceptance of a lifestyle that for millennia has been antithetical to healthy society. Defining one’s core identity on the basis of a so-called sexual orientation with its concomitant unhealthy behaviors is a first in Western Civilization. Many of us are not willing to “respect” a lifestyle, a movement, and a political force that we feel is destructive to the fabric of a healthy society. Respect for the individual, yes … but not for its collective ideology and political aspirations.
Anita:
So glad that you and I had that “chance” meeting facilitated by Esme in Olympia last week. I think you have taken hold of that kernel of what it means to walk the world as LGBT as always the group least “entitled” to respect. As an out lesbian woman I have been told that sexual orientation and gender identity do not warrant the same attention or the same level of respect as those aspects of human difference that one comes by through fate, not through choice. Therein lies the difference, the countless voices who claim that this is all about choice and preference and behavior and anatomy. Those of us who walk in these shoes know that our sexual orientation and gender identity are no more chosen than the pigment of our skin or the color of our eyes. Our only choice is how we choose to live with the cards we have been dealt and no I do not mean to become non sexual or to ignore our truths. I mean our choice is whether to live fully or stay in the shadows where so many would have s stay. Your position on this issue is so critical because I have found that the issues of sexual orinetation and gender identity are even more inflammatory in communities of color. Prejudice against members of the LGBT community is the last mainstream socially sanctioned, religiously endorsed, and popularly embraced bias. It is no longer popular or politically advantageous to be a racist in our country but elections are still won and lost on whether or not a candidate loves or hates the gays. That is telling enough. Until homophobia becomes as harmful to a political campaign as being an outspoken racist, we have yet a long way to go toward equality…toward respect.